life with crazy roommates
photo source: pixabay
each other. They're under the same roof, but
don't talk to each other, even if they're dying to
on the inside. Little things cause quarrels, and no
one wants to apologize.
When they hit crossroads, the either make up, or
part ways"
That's what an anonymous friend of
mine said from her experience.
It's called roommate rivalry.
People are annoying. It's a question of how we
handle them. Most of us have short emotional
fuses, that explode with the slightest
provocation. A minute few rarely get angry. The
good news is, you only need to be somewhere in
the middle to get along with the rest of
humanity. It's all part of the symphony of life.
Connecting socially is a major 'live wire in the
electric box' of school life. However, whether you
live on or off campus, you can't rule out the
possibility of a few heads to heads occurring,
especially when you share living space with one
or more people.
We've gotta hand it to the cool headed guys who
put up with our annoying selves. They're gems!
Clashes occur when the personality differences
between roommates (or flatmates) cause
emotional tensions— which escalate quickly into
violence. It's common for one or both individuals
to engage in 'word combat' (exchanging words in
a fit of rage, that are often provocative), and
most people experience the heat during the early
days of living together— newbies adjust to
themselves and their environment. Occasionally,
even old friends fight.
If you've got someone you share (or intend to
share) living space with in college, chances are
at least one of these bombs are likely to go off:
Cleanliness:
Keeping the house clean can be a
difficult task for some people, especially if you
can't tolerate untidiness.
Space:
Problems can arise in terms of how much
space one person claims for himself (consciously
or not).
Bath and Kitchen:
Ideally, these two should too
the charts. Have you ever seen dirty plates left
unwashed for two weeks or felt nauseated at the
sight of a toilet someone forgot to flush? I need
not say more.
Partying:
It's normal for students to cool off by
partying, but when your roommate brings home
drunk friends who smoke, it can be an issue.
Sharing:
Contrary to popular beliefs, no wanting
to share doesn't explicitly make you stingy. Some
people aren't cool with the idea of others using
their stuff without their consent.
Visitors:
While this is not much of a problem with
friends living together, No body likes to leave the
room always, because of too many visitors.
Food:
When only one person cooks, and only one
person eats, what do you think will happen?
'forks of fury!'
Rental delay:
We're not always without financial
constraints (especially as students), but no body
wants to have to evacuate the room, because of
rental delays from number two.
Having said all that, if arguments are a constant
feature in your school life, do employ less life-
threatening methods to resolve the conflicts.
#1 Set Boundaries:
One of the things most people don't do when
they move in together, is to set boundaries. It
can be an awkward thing to do, but it saves a lot
of trouble. Talk about each others' likes and
dislikes, and what you can't tolerate. It becomes
everyone's responsibility to respect and adjust to
these boundaries.
#2 Dialogue:
Learning to cool off in the heat of
an argument (before sparks fly) takes conscious
effort and practice over time. usually, emotional
explosions start out small, piling up over time.
Before a huge pile forms, it's advisable to talk
about the issue with the person(s) involved.
Clearly state what it is that's pissing you off,
asking them to stop or modify it. You'd be
surprised how much gets solved, just from sitting
down to talk about it.
#3 Call A Truce:
If the friendship matters to you, or you just
want peace in your life, or you want to be the
'mature one', make the first move. Apologize.
Some people have massive egos that prevent
them from admitting that they're wrong (even
when it's obvious that they're). Pop their
balloons by calling a truce.
There are a whole bunch of other methods I
haven't listed here that work. Do you know any?
There are a whole bunch of other methods I
haven't listed here that work. Do you know any?
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